


the melody of our souls

by onewgoon



Category: Kpop - Fandom, SHINee
Genre: Jongyu, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 10:59:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onewgoon/pseuds/onewgoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>what if Jonghyun was a fish and fell in love with a bird called Jinki?</p>
            </blockquote>





	the melody of our souls

The strands of hair on the back of his head were dancing a duet with the chill winter breeze, his fingers teasing the strings of the guitar he was holding tight against his body. Jinki’s eyes drank in every details of the young man sat on the low wall marking out the end of the school’s playground. He didn’t want to bother the musician but at the same time his heart was begging him to step closer, to let the other’s warmth spread out to his own body like a fragile flower blooming under the sun. He ignored the shouting of his heart and stood still, staying carefully a few meters away from the cause of the abundant flow of conflicting thoughts overwhelming his brain.

 

 

 

_“Jinki, let’s become singers. Together.”_

 

Jinki raised his head, his eyes met two dark ones, endless pits of softness and passion.

 

“What are you talking about Jonghyun?”

 

The other dragged the chair from under the desk next to Jinki’s and sat down, his eyes still pinned to his friend.

 

“I love singing. I’ve never heard a voice as amazing as yours. You know you love singing too, don’t even try to deny it.”

 

Jinki sighed and plunged back into his mathematics textbook, pretending the whole previous scene had never happened.  However a hand grabbing his forearm prevented him from running away so easily.

 

“I like singing, as a hobby. Nothing more nothing less.” Jinki spoke in a monotone.

 

The boy didn’t need to glance at his friend to know the latter’s lips were forming a pout, a crease marking the skin between his brows. He also knew the other wouldn’t let out a sound before he gave in. Too bad he was feeling exceptionally stubborn this morning; he wouldn’t let Jonghyun have it his way this time. As the minutes passed, Jonghyun realized Jiniki’s unwilling state would last longer than expected so he, as a last resort, decided to play his ace. With an annoyingly loud scraping noise, he got up from the chair and replaced it to where it belonged, turning his back to his friend and walked to his desk, at the back of the classroom. It took way more strength than he thought so but Jonghyun didn’t let his eyes land on Jinki’s figure during the whole day. Jinki would miss him eventually right? He would cave in just to get his friend’s presence back to his sides. Wouldn’t he?

 

 

There’s this moment in life when we have to make a decision; at that time we don’t know what will be the consequences, how a simple choice can erase a path or create a new one. Life is a labyrinth and everyone is moving towards the same goal; they all want to be the first to grab the Holy Grail. It appears to just be another name for immortal happiness. People sacrifice loved ones throughout that quest, they stomp on others, they crash dreams, it’s a long, merciless war. When they reach the object of their desire they realize something they forgot along the way; what’s the point of being happy if you’re alone? Happiness is made to be shared, a lonely soul cannot feel such emotion as elation, it needs a mate to resonate.

Jinki wanted to be happy, he wanted his life filled with light and laughter. He thought the path he had taken was the good one. He assumed he didn’t need a shoulder to lean on when things were getting hard; he was strong by himself, just like a lone wolf. Who’d need someone else’s strength to get through the obstacles rising up on his way? Life is just a labyrinth and Jinki knew the right way.

Jinki didn’t realize a multitude of paths existed to get to the exit gate. He didn’t realize the importance the journey itself held was much more precious than the goal’s value.

 

 

 

“ _Jinki, sing for me.”_

 

Spring was coming to an end, the summer’s warmth radiating over the earth’s skin. Jinki had rolled up his sleeves to let his skin absorb the pleasant sunrays; Jonghyun had done the same, his head slightly thrown back in order to lean against the trunk of the oak-tree the two friends had declared as their own years ago. Jinki’s eyes followed Jonghyun’s strong jawline, they slid down on his long neck to drift to his protruding collarbones. Sun really was beating down, Jinki’s body felt so hot suddenly.

 

“Why would I sing for you?”

 

Only Jonghyun’s eyelid moved so he could glare at the other.

 

“Because I’m your best friend and because today’s my birthday.”

 

Jinki snorted, gathering his knees under his chin.

 

“What kind of best friend ignores me for a whole week?”

 

That pout again. It gave Jinki the urge to do something but he just didn't know what. He wished Jonghyun would stop doing that thing with his lips.

 

“It didn’t seem like it bothered you. Not having me around I mean.”

 

This sun was getting on Jinki’s nerves. It burnt his retinas, transforming his surroundings into a dazzling shiny fairytale. Jonghyun’s hair looked unreal as if adorned with hundreds of droplets of gleaming diamonds.  

 

“Jjong, being a singer doesn’t suit me. I don’t like having the attention focused on me. I’d hate to have all those eyes pinning me down like a fly caught between two fingers.”

 

Jonghyun squeezed his eyes shut tight, running his hands in his hair, disheveling it even more than it already was. The little diamonds of sun chimed but didn’t melt away.

 

“But your voice, it’s a shame if no one hears it out. I’m pretty sure even angels don’t sing that well.”

 

The corners of Jinki’s lips curled up into a smile, his heart charmed by his friend’s sweet words. Jonghyun was annoying, always stuck to him like a second skin but over time he had gotten used to his warm presence, to his spiritual thoughts and burning passion. Jinki had to admit he’d be sad, perhaps even hurt a little, when they would have to part ways. Eventually they would have to, simply because their paths should have never crossed in the first time; their destinies were as incompatible as those of the fish falling in love with the bird.

 

 

_I won’t go, I’ll just wait here_

_Like a fool crying beside you_

_I don’t know why you had to hurt me_

_I won’t leave, I’ll keep on waiting._

_I miss you, I miss you_

_To the point of hating myself_

_I want to cry and kneel down toward you_

_If it turns out that there’s nothing we can do_

_The memories and remembrances_

_Which I loved you like crazy_

_Are searching for you but I can’t detain you with excuse called "love" anymore_

_I shouldn’t do this_

_I am missing you to death (*)_

Jinki’s voice flew away with the warm breeze, carrying away the last note into the rare clouds staining the azure sky. Jonghyun’s eyes were wide open, staring intently at his friend.

 

“Why would you choose that song?”

 

Jinki shrugged, placing his hands on the ground to push himself in a standing position. His gaze dropped to Jonghyun and he seemed to ponder a while before carefully answering.

 

“Because I think it’s stupid to miss someone to the point of hurting so much. There are billions of people on this earth, why would your heart ache for the absence of only one single human being.”

 

He nodded at his own remark and turned around to walk away.

 

“Happy birthday Jjong.”

 

Jonghyun stayed sitting under the old oak tree long after Jinki had left, staring into the universe’s soul, deaf to what was going on around him. The shouts of his classmates telling him to hurry up and get to class, the reprimand of the supervisor as he walked past; nothing could have gotten to the boy at that moment.

 

“I would miss you Jinki, and it would hurt like hell.”

 

 

 

 

Jonghyun had barely spoken to him during those last weeks, Jinki didn’t really understand why but he didn’t try to find the reason of his friend’s odd behavior either. He had more important things on his mind right now so he just kept on pushing the matter in a dark box in the back of his overworking brain. The CSAT Stimulation (**) was coming closer, so nothing could possibly interfere with his studying; if he wanted to become a surgeon then he had to focus the best he could. With a resigned sigh he drowned himself back into series of numbers and words.

When going back home after studying until late in the evening, Jinki would rise his head while walking in front of Jonghyun’s house. He would see the soft glow of a bedside lamp come through the white curtains of his friend’s room. Ignoring the pang in his heart he’d keep moving.

 

 

 

He missed his clumsy friend, throwing around dad jokes without feeling any bit of second-hand embarrassment. He missed the friend who would – after trying to convince him for about fifteen minutes – give up and follow Jonghyun to the music room to sing until sun disappeared behind the tall buildings of the city. Jonghyun missed the Jinki he knew but there was nothing to do about it; all he could do was stand there, watching Jinki walk away, his figure slowly fading away into the haze that is life.

_I don’t know why you had to hurt me,_

_I won’t leave, I’ll keep on waiting._

 

 

 

 

 

“ _Are you going to say something or just keep on standing behind me like an idiot?_ ”

 

The familiar warm voice – yet incredibly cold today – pulled Jinki out of his trance, making him realize Jonghyun had stopped playing guitar and had gripped the instrument even tighter than before, enough for his knuckles to turn white.

 

“I just wanted to see you before leaving for good. I-I thought we should, I don’t know, hang out and then say goodbye?”

 

Why had it sounded much better in his head? The words sounded empty, forced, unreal.

 

“What would be the use of spending more time together than needed? You can just move on with your life Jinki, I’ll do the same with mine.”

 

Jonghyun still hadn’t moved; Jinki wished he had, just to see his face. But his friend kept on looking at the horizon, body facing the city expanding at his feet like a sea at high tide.

 

“We’ve been best friends for twelve years Jonghyun, I thought our goodbyes could have been a bit… warmer? Why are you acting like a stranger?”

 

Jonghyun sneered. The wind pulled his bleached hair back – Jinki had thought this color looked stupid however why couldn’t he tear his eyes away from it?

 

“Am I really the one acting like a stranger here?” His shoulders rose with a sigh.

“I understand you don’t want anything standing on your way Jinki, it’s okay, just go and achieve your dreams. Become the best surgeon Korea has ever seen and I’ll become the singer with an angel’s voice.”  

 

 

_I’ll sing as well as an angel, but I will never able to sing like you Jinki. Your voice doesn’t come from heaven, it’s way beyond that. It can move hearts, mend souls, ease pains; people can fall in love with it. Your voice can make them fall in love with you. Just like it did for me._

 

The hidden meaning was carried off by the wind and went to die in the silence of an invisible realm where the unsaid words could never be reached.

 

“I’m sure you’ll become an amazing singer Jonghyun.”

 

 

When the bleach-haired boy turned around there was nothing left but footprints in the dust of the playground.

 

 

_I miss you, I miss you_

_To the point of hating myself_

**Author's Note:**

> (*) 아무리 기다려도 난 못가 바보처럼  
> 울고 있는 너의 곁에  
> 상처만 주는 나를 왜 모르고  
> 기다리니 떠나가란 말야.  
> 보고싶다 보고싶다  
> 이런 내가 미워질만큼  
> 울고 싶다 네게 무릎 꿇고  
> 모두 없던 일이 될 수 있다면  
> 미칠듯 사랑했던 기억이  
> 추억들이 너를 찾고 있지만  
> 더이상 사랑이란 변명에 너를 가둘 수 없어  
> 이러면 안되지만 죽을만큼  
> 보고 싶다  
> \- 보고싶다 / 김범수  
> (translation might not be 100% accurate)
> 
>  
> 
> (**) CSAT Stimulation/CSAT: the College Scholastic Ability Test Simulation is held each year twice in June and September; its goal is to prepare the students for the real test held in November that will determine in which university they can apply to according to their scores, basically.


End file.
